Outfit for August 28 + The Venture Brothers trailer

Everyone has lazy days where they wear ratty t-shirts and PJ pants. Anyone who claims they don't is lying or they are possible a vampire/scientologist. But I feel lazy and still sleepy if I don't put on proper fitting clothing. So for those comfy days, I made a go to uniform.

Well fitting sweatpants make a huge difference in how I feel on home bound days. Plus I made a cape with a sequined scarf and a brooch. Very cool and supervillian-y.


My friends and family decided I look like a cross between Audrey Hepburn and Molotov Cocktease on her days off. That's silly. We already know what Molotov's civilian clothes are.

"Who is that hood-rat Brock's talking to? He can get any shorty he wants."

Speaking of the Venture Brothers, season four is almost here! Adult Swim debuted an insane trailer. It would be a war crime to not share.

New Week; New Wallpaper - 8-31-09

artist unknown
click image for big -1600×1000

I wish I had a rich looking library like that. Of course, instead of collecting rare tomes of ancient knowledge, I'd go Scooby Doo on that. Empty books with cut out compartments that hide drugs and guns and counterfeit money. Secret passages that are opened by pushing the spine of "Farewell to Arms". Hidden staircases made of bookshelves and sliding bookcases that hide doors behind them. In all, I'd probably have about half a dozen actual books in this imagined library.

Crazy Shit I have Witnessed - Scab Tracker

I am magical.

Really, I am. I witness strange and bizarre events that few people seem to notice. No, I'm not hallucinating. It is just a talent.

For example, I was driving around, minding my business when my mom got scared I noticed a yellow exterminator truck. Upon closer inspection, it was for a union of some sort.

A friend explained that it belonged to the mechanical engineer's union and that they haul out a giant rubber rat in front of businesses that use non-union labor.

That strikes me as a bit... much. If I were a mechanical engineer, I'd rather my union dues go towards something more useful than a giant yellow van and extravagantly annoying protesting methods.

Outfit for August 27

I got my hair did-ed in the first time in two years. In the past, hair dressers have been universally terrible, either doing a decent job but being a terrible human being or being a pleasant person yet making my hair look awful.

I lucked out. A lovely girl not only made me tea while waiting for my hair dye to finish, but she also wrapped my glasses in plastic so I could read instead of staring blankly into fuzzy space for thirty minutes. She chopped off a good portion of the tangly bits at the ends of my hair and dyed it a lovely natural dark red. What an awesome day.

Honestly, I'm not as gloomy as I appear in the above photo.

It was an animal print day. Not only do I have a leopard print scarf and wedge sandals, but not shown is my tiger print Betsy Johnson purse that causes all women to become lesbians and erotically assault me. I honestly don't mind but I won't bring that purse to church anymore.

it's really hard to take a picture of your own feet

I love these wedges and I love this nail polish. These shoes put me above 6 feet and possibly scream, "I am a transvestite!" which isn't helped by the scarf across my adam's apple. Who cares. They are tall and surprisingly comfortable and that's what matters in my book.

Don Cherry and Poppies

Have you ever wanted to dress like Canadian hockey commentator Don Cherry?


Well, thank your luck stars! You can now dress pretty damn similar, ladies!

Land's End - Women's Shower Trench coat in salsa orange

Meme + Meme

+

=

Threadless - Three Keyboard Cats Moon shirt

Outfit for August 19 + corgi

Not even kidding. This dog does follow me everywhere.

T-shirt - Target

Skirt - Target
Scarf - Forever 21
Sandals - Target

I am embarrassed at how much stuff from target I own. At first I wasn't sure what caused it but then it hit me: College happened, that's what.

Corgi Tuesday, August 25

Blazer hiking with us a year ago.

He barks a loud bark but is a real baby. He's scared to be apart from us for very long. So as we walk along the trails, he runs ahead 20 feet and then runs back to us, circles us, and then runs ahead another 20 feet. This goes on for the whole trail or until he tuckers himself out. Usually the latter happens first.

New Week; New Wallpaper - 8-24-09

Found on Pixelgirl Presents
Click image for large - 1600x1200

This image does pretty much describe what I am experiencing when I go to the 50s diner down the road and get a milkshake. Well, as long as they don't mess up and put malt in. Malt syrup is pretty gross.

Outfit for August 18

Hat - Target
T-shirt - Target
Skirt - walmart from forever ago
Shoes - Not Rated

It is impossible for me to do anything outside without the dog trailing me.

These shoes? Pretty awesome. If I were five years old, I would have picked these same shoes. So at 23, I'm doing something I would have wanted to do at 5. Not too shabby, if you have low enough expectations.

Outfit for July 29 + August 3

It's been a super busy couple of weeks. I lost the cord for my camera but still took photos.

Hat - target
Fairy shirt
Jeans
Belt - target
Sandals- thrifted

My father got married and I helped my stepmother move into our house.

Hells yeah, it's 250 feet of bubble wrap! Every single foot was used. If you can't tell, my stepmother has a lot of breakable thing, like china plates and glass statues.

Headband - Claire's
Dress - Old Navy
Belt - taken from another dress
Golden sandals

The Internet is Awesome: English Russia

St. Basil - National Geographic

Many people waste their lives away while browsing the internet. Wikipedia drawls you into a spiral of endless knowledge. Livejournal showcases the best train wrecks. Something Awful is always funny to me. And 4chan/encyclopedia dramatica, well, you want to look away but you just can't.

The best place to waste your lunch break? English Russia.

Being an American born during the cold war, my knowledge of Russia was fairly limited. Thanks to this (rather engrishy) website, I learn more about modern day life in Russian life than anyone needs to know. English Russia shows you that in a country so large, there's always something interesting happening.

Tanya Grotter

Did you know that there is a Russian Harry Potter knock off? Look at the cover! Harry Potter never rode a motorcycle with a mechanical owl. I can't read Russian but I know for a fact that Tanya Grotter is a far superior book because of that cover alone.

Dior's cruel trick

One article shows a sad photo shoot from Dior. Models were dressed up and paraded around Moscow in the finest western clothes. The Russian women stop and stare in awe of dresses that is very much in contrast their own.

Russian Anime Lovers

They have anime conventions and cosplay in Russia too. Most of it is just as bizarre and bad as its western counterpart.


Other great articles:
The History of Russian Fashion Models
Russian Folklore Spirits
The AK-47
Soccer fans on a snowy day (nsfw)

All photo credit goes to National Geographic and English Russia.

Pokemon Wedge Platforms

I would wear these shoes but only if they were Mew themed.


Mew is the only Pokemon I remember because he is pretty cute.

Corgi Tuesday, August 18

The internet is full of crap but you stumble across homemade gems such as the following short film about an attention loving corgi called "Hot Toffee".



Support good things on the internet by giving it a quick five star rating.

New Week; New Wallpaper - 8-17-09

Halfway into August. School is starting up. Say goodbye to summer with one last popsicle.

(click for larger sizes)

My own photograph blurred and turned into wallpaper. Maybe it's vain. Oh well.

Aquatic tables and school folders

My grandparents used to have a condominium in Florida. They flew down there for five months of the year, enjoying the balmy winter while the Midwest battled lake effect snow and Ugg boots. They used to go to Florida but stopped when my grandmother saw one cockroach after many many years of staying in a tropical climate. Their solution? Spend the winter in Texas. Now they remain up north during the winter, having chosen to be snowed in rather than ever see the kind of cockroaches that thrive in the south.

Their Floridian condo was as dull as can be expected. Everything was beige colored except for some salmon pink wallpaper that occurs only in Florida.

Why bring up an old condo I visited as a child on winter breaks? Ten years too late, I found the perfect table for their beige besieged apartment. I found a table that is so unique that it needs the blandest of colors to be paired with; it's a table that can only be paired with chairs that do not remotely match.

this thing is a bazillion dollars

YES. It's a glass table with a surfacing sea turtle. I'm not a fan of glass topped tables but I'm even more hesitant about a glass top table with an embedded statue. Not only would I be terrified of breaking the turtle's face, I'd feel terrible for setting down a casserole on his face during dinner time.


A manta ray table might be an interesting gift but it would be in bad taste to send it to Steve Irwin's family.


Not gonna lie. I would like to have a manatee coffee table, with or without the oddly place flower vase. I wouldn't buy it (especially not at $3200 + $300 for shipping) but if I saw it on the side of the road, I would stuff it in the car's backseat and take back to my imaginary bachorlette pad.


I am certain I had a similar picture on school supplies when I was in elementary school. Nothings screams 90s for me like a Christian Riese Lassen psychedelic waterscape on a folder.


Speaking of Mr. Lassen, it turns out he has made an aquatic theme table too.

I have relatives who would buy this

I like the mantra ray a lot better.


Sources:
John Didier Designs Custome Furniture
Christian Riese Lassen

Connections

While browsing Gilt for things I don't need and can't possibly buy, I looked at a sale of Melissa/Vivienne Westwood shoes. They were surprising affordable, with prices that ran from $30 to about $75. Curiously these summer shoes were made of rubber.

Rubber shoes? That sounds a bit uncomfortable if you have sweaty feet but alright, I said aloud to the dog.

Then I saw this.

You have to be shitting me.

Pink, shiny, and rubbery plastic. It's the same color and material they make dildos out of. This shoe probably came from a company that was also processing fake penises. And that made me think of...


'On the dresser, there's a dildo made of the same soft pink plastic as a million Barbie dolls, and for a moment, Tyler can picture millions of baby dolls and Barbie dolls and dildos injection molded and coming off the same assembly line in Taiwan.

Marla looks at Tyler looking at her dildo, and she rolls her eyes and says, "Don't be afraid. It's not a threat to you."'

-Fight Club by Chuck Palhniuk
Chapter 6

Corgi Tuesday, August 11

These aren't my Blazer. He's terrified of water. He hates so much as getting his feet damp. That's why he'll pee on the pavement rather than go in wet grass unless my dad yells at him.



Across other youtube clips, there's people saying corgis can't swim. "Look at their bodies! They aren't made for swimming!" Bull. They are like floating logs with little tiny flippers to steer the way. They can't swim fast but they float pretty well.

BONUS: Super Mario music.

Scientology's New Uniforms

I joke about scientology. A lot. I partly blame this on watching South Park when I was immature and still in high school. But scientology is absolutely hilarious because they take themselves far too seriously. That is both a high crime AND a sin. By being the epitome of seriousness, it is a blinding neon invitation to poke fun of them.

The leader of scientology (center)
standing on a box

The people working for scientology dress like they were in the navy. But everyone knows that nautical themes are only "in" during the summer months.

Ladies and Gentlemen. Behold! Scientology's 20 piece new uniforms!

Praise Xenu! (click for large)

First impression: Vampires. Not Twilight vampires. I mean old school Dracula vampires. They are wearing capes lined red satin for goodness sakes! Or maybe it's just supposed to be gothy. It's like a kid at the mall trying to be mysteriously cool by wearing dark colors and spending money at Hot Topic, but replace "kid at the mall" with "pseudo-scientific creepy religious organization".

Second impression: Airline stewardesses. Vampire gothic stewardesses. Look at that girl in the center. That's a stewardess from Pan Am from the 70s dressed (complete with bad pantyhose) as a vampire. I am sure someone in a club has done the "Goth Flight Attendant" look before. Also the presence of vampire stewardesses suggests a vampire airline. That is worrying.

Third impression: This is the only time I've seen a non-Aryan scientologist pictured.

Fourth impression: I didn't know scientology had its own magazine. What do they print every month? I can only speculate that it is a woman's magazine, like Cosmopolitan. Skinny models holding e-meters with the electrode cans draped artfully over their breasts. There are articles that tell you how to tame your many alien souls through yoga. Exercise moves include couch jumping. Sex tips for your inner thetan. How not to cry when you deliver a baby. For all I know, dieting tips could include eating batteries and Chloe purses.

Lastly: A two-toned tie? Really?

(click image to read the text)

Moving onto the provided detailed shots, we can see that yes, that is a bucket hat with red stitching. And I wouldn't call a 100% wool swing coat "all-weather". Monsoon season is weather and this coat would not fare well in the Pacific.

A red satin vest is... not what I would call stunning. My friend worked as a restaurant hostess and she pretty much wore the exact same thing except it didn't have a scientology cross on the back. Her vest just had mustard stains.

But seriously, what is the red and black theme? Did they want to dress in all black but needed a pop of color? I just don't know where they would get the inspiration to dress in so much black-


Oh.


Source: Gawker - "Scientology's Creepy New Uniforms"

Unicorn, Cupcakes, and Religions Icons

My family is not particularly religious. They are vaguely protestant Christians and occasional show up to church. My peers came from a mixed bag of families, ranging from fanatical Baptists to easy going Methodists and to half hearted Catholics. In the end, my peers had little to no religious education either.

Thankfully art history filled me in on Christians legends, making me at least feel well educated.

Anyway, this t-shirt is the formula for awesome. Unicorn + cupcake + Our Lady of Guadalupe = AWESOME. Math is good for many things.

BME Shop: Unicorns and Cupcakes

New Week; New Wallpaper - 8-10-09

It's hot and humid. Let's go hiking.

artist unknown
click image for large - 1600×1000px

Corgi Tuesday, August 4

New Week; New Wallpaper - 8-3-09

Many a father has named or nicknamed his daughter after flowers. My dad is particularly fond of summer flowers because they beautiful and survive the summer heat without much care. He wishes he could grow roses as easily as they do in England, but Japanese beetles and black mold make it not worth it. Instead he plants hollyhocks, the poor man's rose. I was nicknamed hollyhocks because I was born in the summer, grew up tall, and Dad thought "sunflower" was too obvious.

Credit to: http://www.connected2christ.com/
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