26 February 2010

Cancer spider and love


Found on a pole in Chicago. Food for thought and hey, check out the cancer spider/crab.

23 February 2010

Corgi Tuesday - Feb. 23

The Queen meets up with corgis. The corgis don't look all that impressed. The Queen is just yet another person to love and adore them.

22 February 2010

New Week; New Wallpaper - 2-22-10

artist unknown
Click image for large - 1010 × 758

Don't even tell me that you don't desperately want to do this. If you say, "No, GLC. That's not safe! I would never engage in cart bobsledding!" then I'll known you're a liar and a vampire/scientologist. I refuse to hear otherwise.

19 February 2010

Seriously - A non-serious post

I'm sorry but I can't take you seriously.

It's not you personally. My ears are hearing smart things coming from your mouth. But I can't take you that seriously when you're dressed like that.

Your education says, "I'm ten times smarter than you." The sweatpants with the sequined word "BOOTY" written across the butt says "High school freshman taking art class so I nap for the hour."

Your political analysis tells me you're really smarter than you look. That's not hard because your giant shirt with someone's face horrifyingly air-sprayed on the front tells me that you only vote in presidential elections if you vote at all and that your candidate of choice is determined solely by their stance on marijuana.

I apologize to everyone everywhere
for posting this picture

The cheap mismatched ruined suit looks bad ass on Tyler Durden because, well, he's Tyler Durden. On everyone else, it is less "My views on anarchy; let me show you them" and more "My dad is a used car salesman from the 1970's who is getting rid of this suit and I thought hey a free suit!"

Look, I just think your clothes are ridiculous. You are still a pretty cool person though. Just put down the bunny ears and the orange fake tanner.

17 February 2010

The worst mascara ever

CoverGirl lash blast mascara is the worst mascara ever. Don't buy it.

Generally I don't do make up reviews because I'm usually far too lazy and too freckly to bother with much make up. I leave reviewing up to people who are willing to try out products that cost more than $5 at the drug store.

But I have to speak out against this crap.

I've seen this mascara recommended in a couple magazines, which is bullshit. Covergirl blows like an industrial fan set at tornado speed.

This mascara sucks because:
  • It smells like house paint
  • It takes as long to dry as an oil painting
  • It smears worse than oil paints
  • Seriously, this stuff gets on my glasses, it's that bad.
  • It doesn't look that great even when you put it on correctly, so it's not worth all the trouble
I bought a tube a few months ago. Since I am a penny pinching broke person, I keep trying to use it to get my money's worth out of it, but I'm giving up. There's cheaper and less crappy make up out there that doesn't irritate the heck out of me when I'm trying to put it on.

11 February 2010

Awesome ring

Men get gipped when it comes to fashion, especially jewelry. Men's rings are more functional and dull.

Except for this one.

It's a ring that turns gears as you fiddle with it.

As someone with stick-thin-size-4-and-a-quarter fingers, I will never ever ever get to wear it. Stupid men. They get the best of everything.

10 February 2010

Older outfits

I haven't had much of a chance to take good outfit photos lately. However I found a couple from over a year ago that I'd like to share. One is an example of a bad outfit and the other is pretty good.

Fashion bloggers don't post pictures of themselves in badly put together outfits, so I might as well share my mistake.

Awful outfit

This one is bad. Note my odd expression. The cardigan and dress are two baggy items that make me look very boxy. The leopard printed tights make it appear as if I have a skin disease. The shoes don't match anything. Failure all around. The end.

outfit copy

A better outfit except that my shoes are untied for some reason.

I love these shoes. They are my tallest heels, save for my giant leopard print platforms. They transform my pedo-tastic schoolgirl dress and make me look more sophisticated, more adult. Plus these shoes give me mile long legs. As in my legs are so long that people accuse me of walking on stilts.

09 February 2010

Corgi Tuesday - Feb. 9

If there is one thing dogs (especially corgis) love more than human attention and yogurt, it's peanut butter.

08 February 2010

"Quit blubbering and take your medicine like a man!"

Approximately eighty bazillion bloggers have recently put their two cents in on the war between fashion bloggers vs. mean comments. I hemmed and hawed while writing this article, torn between various positions my multiple personalities were taking.

On the one hand, my inner psychopath laughed at how people thought Sister Wolf was unnecessarily mean? You call that savage? It's not just Sister Wolf. Popular blogs have shut down their comments for comments that mildly critical at best.

Having been raised by the internet and foster parented by Something Awful and Mystery Science Theater 3000, I don't understand. Someone says something less than perfectly nice and that's mean? That's trolling? It's not truly savage unless your comment section is flooded with scat pornography, your MySpace is hacked, your phone number has been posted, your email signed up to every porn list in existence, you are a sent a .JPEG of your house on Google Maps circled ominously, and then Fox News runs a special about it while being obviously clueless about how the internet works.

On the other hand, my liberal bleeding heart sympathized greatly with Sal's message on Already Pretty. No one deserves to have their work torn apart for no good reason. Having your blog and inbox flooded with nastiness is never pleasant.

I sympathize with popular bloggers. Fortunately my small, hardly read blog has a handful of people who I love to entertain. But in the past I have dealt with harassment resulting from publicly available artwork and writing. Pouring your heart into something only to have it viciously attacked is harder to deal with than many of us would like to admit.

Lastly, my internal arsonist screams, "KILL THEM ALL!"

Oh my torn self could not decide.

Then I realized that fashion makes everyone absolutely insane.

Now see, I had to step out of the world of fashion blogs and step into some video games.

You see, Team Fortress 2 has hats. The hats don't do anything, like armor in an RPG might. TF2 hats are amusing and are a rare find. A bunch of fancy pixels causes joy, war, cheating, hacking, delight, and endless frustration within the Team Fortress 2 community. Finding a newly released hat has caused an entire server halt in a temporary truce just so everyone can see it. (Choice lines include: "OHMYGAWD CHECK OUT THE HAT!" and "wow im like a celeb now".)

Clothing and fashion is more prevalent in games out side of Team Fortress 2: Electric Boogaloo. Silent Hill games offer a variety of (admittedly often sexist) costumes for the player to work for. People pay actual money for cutesy dress up items in Dungeon Fighter. The MMPORG centric web show The Guild had an entire second season conflict begin with an item that can change your character's hair style. No one likes it when a teammate grabs that item you really wanted to wear.

You might go, "So what? Nerds get excited over stupid shit all the time."

The point is that everyone, in one way or another, get stupidly excited over clothes. Fashion makes us insane. We lose our tiny little minds over $500 shoes, silk blouses, and anything with the letters Y, S, and L scrawled across it.

I see otherwise rational people pay for a purse rather an overdue bill. People beat each other senseless at sample sales in New York or trample others over half off sweaters on Black Friday. Models starve themselves which causes non-models to starve themselves to death. Some of the slave labor in foreign countries functions thanks to the fashion industry. Yeah, those fake Christian Louboutin pumps you thought about getting? Made by enslaved children with broken, mangled legs.

Since fashion makes everyone stupid and crazy, it makes us hypersensitive. I speculate that's what causes the over-the-top forced positivity from WhatIWore's infamous code of comments post. I can't image that Jessica, who seems clever and cool, is really that sensitive in real life because everyone has to deal with harsh criticism in their daily lives. Then again I'm unlucky enough to have total strangers in the street come up and insult me for my shoes and weight.

So what to do about all this hypersensitivity and insanity on the internet?

I'm going to have to ask the bloggers to man up and put things in perspective. We all need to learn how to deal with daily meanness, criticism, and have the ability to the differentiate between the two. Trolls trolls because they get a reaction and anonymity has proved to cause temporary mental deficiency. Human meanness is a fact of life.

I'm not saying lay down and let people walk all over you. But you can't let stupid people get you down. There's more of them than of non-stupid people. You have to moderate comments and learn to ignore emails.

If someone came up to you on the street and said, "You're hideous and you should kill yourself," then you most likely would say, "Fuck you and eat a dick." If someone you knew said, "I like your shirt but your earrings are big enough to set on fire and use in a circus act involving lions," then you'd say thanks and then ignore what they just said as you went about as usual.

We need to stop being crazy about clothes.

New Week; New Wallpaper - 2-8-10

artist unknown
Click image for larger - 1280 × 1024

02 February 2010

Corgi Tuesday - Feb. 2

Blazer on the step

Blazer is too cute for me to stay angry at him every time he eats out of the garbage and then throws up. I mean, look at his funny wittle feet! Awwww!

01 February 2010

New Week; New Wallpaper - 2-1-10

artist unkown
Click image for larger - 1440 × 900

What can I say? I'm secretly a hopeless romantic.