14 March 2011

Dad moment

By Kate Beaton of Hark! A Vagrant

The above comic caused me to flashback to every St. Patrick's Day from my childhood because my father did the exact same thing.

Dads are funny creatures and my dad is very much funny. He is unique in being the only single full-time father I know, meaning he's been my sole parent since I was little. Sometimes he can be a total ass who doesn't understand people in their 20's and he has the hipster habit of hating something the second it gets popular even though he is too old to be a hipster.

During a phone conversation, I once mentioned that people thought Mozart was an overrated composer. Since Dad is a classical musician turned accountant, he was a little upset. He ranted about how people thought Mozart was a bad person "because of that movie!" and that if movies were going cause people to get the wrong idea about history, then banning movies was OK by him. Since he is the world's biggest Hitchcock fan, he didn't really mean it and was just being dramatic.

Recently I left law school after being miserable and he has been nothing but supportive, when I felt that many parents would be furious. He pointed out that he too switched career paths at a young age.

When I struggle with the feeling that I'm floundering in life, I remember a story he told me. In college, he romanticized fishing. He read a lot of Ernest Hemingway and loved the idea of living a simple life out in nature. So he took a Saturday afternoon off, rented a boat, borrowed some fishing supplies, and rowed out onto a lake.

"And you know what I found? Fishing is the most boring damn thing on the planet. It's hot and there's bugs and it's so dull. Nature is boring!"

The lesson is you never know if you'll enjoy something until you try it. But mostly I like to think that he teaches that dad people are awesome.

14 February 2011

Happy Valentine's Day!

Exposed heart

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

Being the contrarian I was raised to be, I dislike Valentine's Day on the fact it is a card company holiday. Being the practical person my father wishes I was, I consider money spent on frivolous things like cards to be silly and I am poor. Being the tomboy I am, I dislike mushy cutsey lovely dovey stuff. On the other hand, I am a girly girl who loves stuff with hearts on it and video games.

Fortunately, Valve comes to this contradicted maiden's rescue. Portal 2 is releasing in a couple of months and they decided to celebrate today by having Valentine cards in PDF format. Nothing says "I care about you" like murderous robots and holes in space and time.

Additionally, Portal 2 dissuades you from more traditional gifts. After all, you wouldn't want a giant queen bee to kill your lover.

In the world of Team Fortress 2, today we take time to remember the unrequited love between the Heavy and the Scout:

09 February 2011

Judith Leiber purses on Gilt

Gilt never stops amusing me and the recent presence of $2,000+ clutches shaped like animals is no exception. Camels, pugs, poison dart frogs, and... what's with the terrified Foo Dog?

He looks like he is going to bite the hell out of that ghost's hand.

Oh. Well, he may have known what fate awaited him. But alas, his crystal covered snarls were not enough to ward off a woman storing her cellphone and tampons in him.

This is the pug clutch, as shown in the first image. He is much more accepting of his fate. But me being me, I would how up to a fancy event with this and fill it with cherry syrup for the ultimate visceral shock when I open it up at the dinner table.

05 February 2011

Dancing Bags

With an overactive imagination and a short attention span, I have frequently dreamed up inventions that have been made into reality by other people. This includes Your-name-goes-here romance novels and corrugated cardboard. But this takes the cake in things I should have thought up and patented.

It seems so obvious! How many times have you been at the club and either (a) witnessed women dancing with a handbag, well, in hand, or (b) been a woman dancing with her purse? A poll among men I know have polled have said dancing with your handbag looks stupid. And by polled, I mean I asked a dude who watches women dance in clubs.

The flesh toned ones I'm less fond of because they look vaguely orthopedic. But the black ones look great, passing as architectural jewelry.

How lovely is that? A purse that is decorative and can hold a condom and your fake ID for getting into clubs!


27 January 2011

Not so well thought out dress

The dress claims to be "Well Wrought" but it's hardly well thought out. Haha, get it?! I mean, it's not well thought out unless you planned to have a dress with a cavernous vagina on the front.

16 December 2010

TF2 Christmas

Something about Team Fortress 2 causes artistic bouts of insanity. This has lead to hilarious griefing, program modifications, hilarious comics, absolutely stunning artwork, and more drawn gay pornography that anyone could ever need in a lifetime.

Now, we have Christmas songs with accompanying video.

This madness will never stop until Valve, Garry's Mod, Source Filmaker, and every man between the ages of 14 and 30 are destroyed.