Wolf shirt run down

Once again we see how wolf shirts - formerly a staple of furries and nerdy wolf enthusiasts - have risen to become a staple of hipsters and fashion enthusiasts. Once again Modcloth provides an interesting example.

The Tee Who Cried Wolf - Modcloth

This shirt is actually pretty awesome. I would consider wearing it myself. It barely qualifies as a wolf shirt. We don't even see the wolf itself; we only see the silhouette of a wolf against an album cover.

This doesn't cut it for me. Nerdy wolf shirts are funnier.

The Hunter

Having a giant snarling wolf face on your torso reminds me of the werewolf in "Vampire Hunter D".

Fuck the werewolves in Twilight.

Actually, you should just wear this picture on your chest instead. Instead of people going, "Nice shirt nerd," they will say, "Holy crap, that man has a wolf head exploding out of his stomach!" And everyone loves Vampire Hunter D, even non-nerds. In fact, you would be better off watching Vampire Hunter D than reading the rest of this post.

Night Breed

What a misleading shirt. People who wear wolf shirts are very gentle people. Sure they might be gentle because they are terrified of social interaction and those type of guys are prone to stalking you through Facebook, but they never would bare their teeth and growl. What a silly notion.

Wolf Face Off

It's Rorschach test. If you see a gothic butterfly, good for you. If you see wolves and deer skulls, then what the hell is wrong with you?

Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess wolf t-shirt

I would wear this shirt too because it's not very wolf shirt-y. The shirt is heavy on the Legend of Zelda and light on the wolf. What kind of nerd would I be if I didn't love Legend of Zelda?

Freedom~wolf & Mt Rushmore

What embodies the good ol' USA more than a spectral wolf floating over Mt. Rushmore plus a phrase that people use to make fun of the War on Terror?

Wolf shirt in dress form

I've written about wolf shirts and how they seem to be coming into fashion. As in they are being accepted and bought by people who should better.

Recently Modcloth showcased a wolfshirt dress.

Wolf form Maxi Dress

Product description: "Be a leader of the fashion industry in this high quality knit, maxi length dress! Perfect for the fashion school student who wants to be trendy and comfortable when spending late hours and early mornings in the sewing and drawing studios, or traipsing through the museum to get inspiration for your next project! 'Howl' should you style this dress? We suggest wearing it with a brown western belt, cute furry cropped vest, and a derby hat, and you'll have a fierce fashion 'pack-ed' look!"

Modcloth is prone silly puns and overly enthusiastic description and that's usually charming. However I can't get over how they suggest wearing it when you don't care what look like (late hour and early morning projects?). On top of the fact this is just a long wolf shirt, they describe the worst outfit possible. A long dress with a furry vest and a derby hat? Sounds just great.

Anyway, I'm still waiting for anime shirts to get popular with the fashion crowd.

Meme + Meme

+

=

Threadless - Three Keyboard Cats Moon shirt

Wolf packs - Shirts, that is. Wolf pack shirts.

It took one unit of Planck time after yesterday's post for someone to inform me of the existence of the picture on the left. (The Easiest Way to Get Laid? Wolf Shirts.) I was stunned than FIVE men would all wear the same extremely sexy shirt (and similar khaki pants) at the same time. After all, if two girls show up at a party wearing the same dress, the laws of physics cause them both to go home and change or to have a cat fight where they erotically wrestle each other while tearing their clothes. But then I realize that men frequently dress identically. For example: sport team jerseys and formal occasion tuxedos.

I am still shocked at the homogeneity of men's fashion, especially when it comes to wolf shirts. I had fallen victim to it as well. My previous posts used the same wolf shirt. But really, there are a wide variety of wolf shirts to choose from!

Black and White Wolves

What I like about wolf shirts is that they usually have a positive message. Most of the time it's just "Respect wolves!" or "Nature is cool!" or "I wish I was a wolf!" But this shirt is something my elementary school teachers should have shown me in the 90s, back when they worked really hard to teach kids not to be racist. This shirt plays "Ebony and Ivory" in my mind. We should learn from this t-shirt. After all, if black and white (or grey-ish) wolves can get along, why can't we?

Wolf Flag t-shirt

You know what is a positive message? Love for your country. This shirt is about patriotism. American patriotism, of course because that's the best kind. This shirt is so patriotic it's probably illegal to ship it out of the USA because only so much American-ness is allowed outside the border. On top of patriotism, it's got THREE wolves. You're buying wolves in bulk and saving money when you buy this shirt.

White Wolf shirt

Unfortunately this shirt just says "Ask me about my anthropomorphic animal art!" and "I am a furry".


While browsing the vast collection of bland wolf shirts, I found out that there are other species that can be airbrushed onto black t-shirts. I found a lion shirt that is identical to a wolf shirt except it's in gold tones.

Tribal Lion and Tribal Wolf
(sadly they are sold separately)

As mentioned before, I recommend that you read all the reviews for these shirts before buying them. Do your research so you know what you're getting into. These shirts contain Powers of The Wolf (or lion or wolfoid) and, as Uncle Ben said, "With great power comes responsibility."

Wolf shirts - AGAIN

As mentioned before, I don't understand why fashion is coming back to the nerd staple of fantasy themed animal shirts. Wolf shirts are the symbol that you are the lowest on the hierarchy of basement dwellers, doomed to be mocked by slightly less offensive basement dwellers. You know, the basement dwellers who leave the house for reasons other than a Mountain Dew run or going to an anime convention.

And yet, I see this:

I Don't Like Mondays - Wolf moon drapey tee

It costs $89 and it already sold out. Honestly, if you want one that badly, just head over to amazon.com. This shirt has THREE!!!!! wolves on it so you're getting a better deal.

The Mountain Men's Three Wolves t-shirt

Before you buy it though, you should read the reviews to make sure this shirt suits your needs. You don't want to get a shirt if you can't handle its powers.

[1 star] "The effect that this t-shirt has on women is pretty impressive. Unfortunately its natural healing powers reversed my vasectomy and I impregnated nine women in two weeks before I realized. They all had twin boys. Now I have 18 sons and spend most of my money on child support and condoms."

[5 star] "Unfortunately I already had this exact picture tattooed on my chest, but this shirt is very useful in colder weather."

[5 star] "I have experienced many highs in my life. The scratch-off lottery ticket I purchased in lieu of a bottle of Boone's Farm that resulted in $500 spending cash. The used black Camaro I bought with those winnings. Meeting Hulk Hogan. But nothing compares with the day my Three Wolves One Moon t-shirt arrived.[...]"

[5 star haiku] "wolves upon my shirt
howling, i stalk my prey too
in my mom's basement"

[1 star] "I ordered this shirt for my brother's birthday and it only had TWO wolves on it. When I called Amazon customer service they informed me that the third wolf was on back order. They said the could ship me out another moon, but that would make for a ridiculous t-shirt."

Wolf shirt in ACTION!

Topshop - Fantasy Horse T-Shirt

Amongst fashion bloggers, there is a sort of an unspoken competition of who can wear the wackiest, most unusual, and/or more unique clothing. This sometimes goes overboard but it's usually all for the good of creative dressing.

However, then I saw a picture of topshop's horse shirt...

Topshop - Fantasy Horse Tee

See, amongst nerds and geeks, there is a hierarchy of who is less of a loser. A computer programmer who wears khakis and a white shirt every single day sees himself better than a guy who wears a Dragon Ball Z anime shirt. Wolf - or horse - shirts are looked down upon by about everyone, except furries.

So Topshop is selling the equivalent of nerd-rejected fashion to better dressed people.

Below : A comparison between the above pictured horse shirt and a stereotypical geeky wolf shirt.

I can't wait for Topshop to start selling Dragon Ball Z shirts.