Daily Outfit 7-28-2009

It was raining today so I took my photo inside. You can see the interesting way my father has decorated the house, as evidenced by the multicolored walls. For a man who is partially colorblind, he is remarkably talented at interior decorating.

What a glamorous busy day. Got to sleep in, got dressed up for a date with Lanna, got to eat mushrooms, and did girly shopping for make up for SEVERAL HOURS.

Lanna and I went to Sephora. Previously I had avoided the store because I associated it with its obnoxious product placement (which I hate) in Cloverfield (which was terrible). In the end, Lanna and I braved a thunderstorm and got into the store.

(found on beastandbean's flickr)

You know when you were little, you played with your mother's make up while trying on her clothes? That was basically what happened. We tried on everything and played with at least 100 products. Lanna even decided to paint her nails under the guise of testing the chip proof claim.

One sales lady help me find the perfect foundation (Smashbox HD foundation in the palest color they had) when before I've never been keen on wearing foundation. She even gave me a good sized sample to try it out for a couple days.

It is very strange to have a strangre touch your face. That is a very intimate space after all. The saleslady was showing me how to put on foundation and I was flinching and laughing because it tickled. She laughed and said I was a very funny girl. If I had a dime for every time I heard that, I could earn some serious compound interest.

Scarf - Left by my mother
Teal t-shirt - Target
Skirt - thifted
Sandals - Thifted

Corgi Tuesday, July 28

Corgis are the only dogs I ever see doing this.

Unfortunately, Blazer doesn't do this any more. He will lay down and put one leg out behind him. He has arthritis in one hip so he'll keep that foot underneath him.

When I catch him with a foot out, I'll sneak up on him and poke those cute pink pads. He growls at me, as if he could ever be a threatening dog, and indignantly pulls his foot back underneath him. And then he rolls over pathetically for a belly rub.

Daily Outfit - 7-24-2009

I genuinely enjoy my silver flats. They make me feel like a sparkly ballerina, except about 7 inches taller and many pounds heavier. However lovely, the flats weren't particularly comfortable the last time I wore them because one of the ankle straps rubbed against my skin uncomfortably. Lo and behold, God blessed the world with tights and other assortments of hosiery that help keep blisters at bay. The down side is that creepy fetishists keep favoriting my pictures on Flickr.

Hat - Target
Penguin t-shirt - Target
Demin shorts
Tights
Silver flats - American Eagle

Awkward pose time! Enjoy my slightly off center men's hat!

New Week; New Wallpaper - 7-27-09

artist unknown
Click image for large - 1280x960

Relax. Life is good. Chill out and meditate.

Models: Benjamin Brixby's dude

For what little talent I have for female fashion, I have even less at male fashion. Despite my inability to rarely care about men's clothes beyond wolf shirts, I thought this model (found modeling Benjamin Brixby on Gilt) was pretty snazzy.


Sure his coat looks eerily like mine and the bow tie is a little odd but damn, that is a sweet coat and those are some sweet shoes.

Unfortunately about two pictures away he starts to dress like a crazy person and continues to that look for the rest of the page. While the clothes on a whole are not bad, throwing all of them together at once looks odd. On the left I'm convinced he is wearing some country's flag. On the right he is a used car salesman who bought his clothes back in 1976 and has aged much better than my parents have.


He also is pictured wearing a tie with a cricket player. Like many a SciFi Channel movie, I can't tell if it's so bad it's good or if it's just plain bad. Either way I would buy this tie as an ironic Father's Day Present that, like many other "hilarious gifts", my dad just does not understand.

Pink Panther Ice cream

Every summer the ice cream truck makes its rounds. I rarely can catch it because I can't locate it. I hear the tra-la-la of the irritating loop of "Pop! goes the weasel" and I grab my wallet and rush outside. I stand on the front side walk, head cocked to locate the source of that summery memory laden sound. Unfortunately, it echoes badly and the truck is actually about two miles away. And sometimes the ice cream driver drives by at 50MPH. I rarely catch the truck.

But not this weekend. I caught the ice cream truck, driven by a woman with her baby strapped incorrectly into the seat next to her. Usually it's an old woman who has an oxygen tank and makes children uncomfortably aware of the process of smoking and aging, but she wasn't there this weekend.

I asked for a pink panther ice cream, which is pink and white and has gumball eyes. Like all food should be, it is on a stick.

As the ice cream truck pulled away, I peeled away the sticky wrapped and began licking. I still hadn't left the street curb. About five minutes later, I got a creepy pink skull on a stick.

He looks like a very feminine Skeletor.

Either way, he was delicious and died a tasty death by licking and melting.

Feel Better: Action Cats

Some days you just don't feel good. You woke up with a hangover when you didn't have a drink. Your allergies are acting up and your sinuses are as swollen as a rich man's bank account. You and your boyfriend/girlfriend had a fight. Your coworker has a voice like nails. You can't turn off the radio and all it plays is music you hate. Like Lady Gaga.


It's ok though. Some times you just don't feel good. But you can feel better.

One way I make myself smile on a bad is picture of cats. Cats in action. Cats fighting and jumping. Cats doing things cats do.


There, feel better?

Dailly outfit for July 20 + Bowling with Buddies

I love a certain gray dress. It is soft and breezy, perfect for doing chores around the house in the summer. I never thought of it as glamorous or interesting enough to warrant making a good outfit of it. But in its simplicity is potential to create different looks.

Gold metal headband - thrifted
Dress - Kolh's/derek heart
Bracelets - Target
Leggings - Betsey Johnson
Silver flats - Payless

These shoes were fairly comfortable but they had an unexpected problem: potential for blindness. They are a mirror silver which reflects light. Unfortunately, it happened to be a sunny day and I looked down. Ow. Sunlight reflected directly into my eyes by my own shoes. I was betrayed.

(I added some socks and bowling shoes)

But I did more than just dress up and putz around the house like any other unemployed kid with a degree. I went bowling with two good friends, Dying Dan and Lanna.

Bowling is the best game to play with friends. It's a silly concept - throwing heavy balls on the floor to hit pins - so no one takes it too seriously. No one feels bad if they are terrible at bowling. I know I don't. Plus you can take your time and chat with buddies between turns. You can make a thousand testicle jokes. You can drink overpriced bad beer if you really want. But mostly, it's a game where you can be stupid around your friends and that is the best kind of sport.

I also turned into a ghost. I made a peace sign and my arms disappeared, like Michael J Fox in Back to the Future II. Somehow bowling made my parents not meet. I don't understand. I majored in psychology, not quantum engineering. That's why I'm still unemployed.

Corgi Tuesday, July 21

You know, it doesn't look terribly comfortable to me either. But hey, it's what he does.

New Week; New Wallpaper - 7-20-09

The Midwest is in the center of the North American continent. That's why we get the super hot summer and frost biting winters. Most other places have the courtesy to stick to only one extreme.

It's hot and the grass is bone dry, despite all the humidity. Summer storm do nothing but quench only the thinnest top layer of dust, especially in soil that doesn't hold moisture very well.

artist unkown
Click image for big - 1600px × 1200px

Here's to summer storms along the sandy dunes of Lake Michigan. May the dry grass not catch fire and may the hardiest of plants survive the future cold snaps of fall and the layers of winter snow.

Wolf packs - Shirts, that is. Wolf pack shirts.

It took one unit of Planck time after yesterday's post for someone to inform me of the existence of the picture on the left. (The Easiest Way to Get Laid? Wolf Shirts.) I was stunned than FIVE men would all wear the same extremely sexy shirt (and similar khaki pants) at the same time. After all, if two girls show up at a party wearing the same dress, the laws of physics cause them both to go home and change or to have a cat fight where they erotically wrestle each other while tearing their clothes. But then I realize that men frequently dress identically. For example: sport team jerseys and formal occasion tuxedos.

I am still shocked at the homogeneity of men's fashion, especially when it comes to wolf shirts. I had fallen victim to it as well. My previous posts used the same wolf shirt. But really, there are a wide variety of wolf shirts to choose from!

Black and White Wolves

What I like about wolf shirts is that they usually have a positive message. Most of the time it's just "Respect wolves!" or "Nature is cool!" or "I wish I was a wolf!" But this shirt is something my elementary school teachers should have shown me in the 90s, back when they worked really hard to teach kids not to be racist. This shirt plays "Ebony and Ivory" in my mind. We should learn from this t-shirt. After all, if black and white (or grey-ish) wolves can get along, why can't we?

Wolf Flag t-shirt

You know what is a positive message? Love for your country. This shirt is about patriotism. American patriotism, of course because that's the best kind. This shirt is so patriotic it's probably illegal to ship it out of the USA because only so much American-ness is allowed outside the border. On top of patriotism, it's got THREE wolves. You're buying wolves in bulk and saving money when you buy this shirt.

White Wolf shirt

Unfortunately this shirt just says "Ask me about my anthropomorphic animal art!" and "I am a furry".


While browsing the vast collection of bland wolf shirts, I found out that there are other species that can be airbrushed onto black t-shirts. I found a lion shirt that is identical to a wolf shirt except it's in gold tones.

Tribal Lion and Tribal Wolf
(sadly they are sold separately)

As mentioned before, I recommend that you read all the reviews for these shirts before buying them. Do your research so you know what you're getting into. These shirts contain Powers of The Wolf (or lion or wolfoid) and, as Uncle Ben said, "With great power comes responsibility."

Wolf shirts - AGAIN

As mentioned before, I don't understand why fashion is coming back to the nerd staple of fantasy themed animal shirts. Wolf shirts are the symbol that you are the lowest on the hierarchy of basement dwellers, doomed to be mocked by slightly less offensive basement dwellers. You know, the basement dwellers who leave the house for reasons other than a Mountain Dew run or going to an anime convention.

And yet, I see this:

I Don't Like Mondays - Wolf moon drapey tee

It costs $89 and it already sold out. Honestly, if you want one that badly, just head over to amazon.com. This shirt has THREE!!!!! wolves on it so you're getting a better deal.

The Mountain Men's Three Wolves t-shirt

Before you buy it though, you should read the reviews to make sure this shirt suits your needs. You don't want to get a shirt if you can't handle its powers.

[1 star] "The effect that this t-shirt has on women is pretty impressive. Unfortunately its natural healing powers reversed my vasectomy and I impregnated nine women in two weeks before I realized. They all had twin boys. Now I have 18 sons and spend most of my money on child support and condoms."

[5 star] "Unfortunately I already had this exact picture tattooed on my chest, but this shirt is very useful in colder weather."

[5 star] "I have experienced many highs in my life. The scratch-off lottery ticket I purchased in lieu of a bottle of Boone's Farm that resulted in $500 spending cash. The used black Camaro I bought with those winnings. Meeting Hulk Hogan. But nothing compares with the day my Three Wolves One Moon t-shirt arrived.[...]"

[5 star haiku] "wolves upon my shirt
howling, i stalk my prey too
in my mom's basement"

[1 star] "I ordered this shirt for my brother's birthday and it only had TWO wolves on it. When I called Amazon customer service they informed me that the third wolf was on back order. They said the could ship me out another moon, but that would make for a ridiculous t-shirt."

Wolf shirt in ACTION!

Daily Outfit 7-12-09

I don't care how touristy it is, I enjoy playing with that giant silver egg in Millennium Park. I've always heard it called "The Bean" but it's officially labeled as "Cloudgate".

There was a festival going on so the park was packed with people, including Charlie Chaplin and Mr. and Mrs. Lincoln. The silver surface behind me was caked in a thousand smudgy hand prints.

Sunhat - Target
Black t-shirt
Asymmetrical skirt
Leopard Print scarf
Purse - Betsey Johnson
Gold sandals

Daily Outfit , 7-9-09

Green t-shirt
Scarf - Left by my mother
Skirt - Target
Gold sandals - Target

Blazer is a ham. He can't stop being in photos.

Hey hey hey hey what'ca doing oooh what are you up to can I help?

Yes Blazer, you are so helpful. Whosa useful doggy? You are!

Corgi Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Blazer, get off the guest bed! That is a human bed, not a dog bed!

New Week; New Wallpaper - 7-13-09

It's summertime. Let's go for a swim and enjoy some aquatic based romance.

(Aquarium from vladstudios)
Click image to enlarge. 1280px × 1024px

This one has a sequel too. Duo wallpaper time!

(Aquarium 2 from vladstudios)

Click image to enlarge. 1280px × 1024px

Loltastic: Transformers

It is no secret that I love Transformers. The 80s cartoon, not so much the recent films. I can handle 80s cartoon cheese but Shia Lebouf talking with his parents about masturbation? Not something I want to watch. I even have a few Transformers of my own; Optimus Prime and Hot Rod graced my desk through most of college.

Even though I love Transformers more than most women love their children, I don't particularly want to mix giant robots and my sex life.



I do agree that Megatron is a sexier robot. And girls, if you are ever in desperate need for male attention (particularly between the ages of 14-25), I'm pretty sure putting Megatron on your breasts will draw even more attention to the girls. As evidence by the nonstop talk about Megan Fox in the new Transformer film, many men fall prey to the mixing of women and giant toys.

Not those kind of toys.

Forever21 - Transformers Tee

Corgi Tuesday: July 7, 2009

Blazer is a fat, short dog with no tail. he spends a lot of time trying to chew on his back that he cannot ever reach. Yet he can look very handsome sometimes.


Right now, our neighbor's crab apples tree is dropping its terrible fruit into our backyard. BEES GALORE. On top of that, Blazer gnaws on any crab apple he can get and then promptly throws up half an hour later on the living room floor. Sometimes he eats that too.

Daily Outfit - 7-6-09

Sometime I make dumb decisions. It is impossible for you believe, dear reader, but it is true. I make dumb decisions and sometimes buy things on impulse. Usually my impulse buys have worked out fine, but every so often I run into a problem.

Exhibit A: This dress

A few months ago, Alexander McQueen made some clothes for Target and promptly no one liked them. That's how I came to find this dress on the clearance rack. I looked at the punky elements of a racer back tank dress and the black netting coat. Then I looked at the price tag and holy shit I had already bought it. I must have blacked out onto the way to the register.

Upon actually wearing it, there were several problems.

First off, it's really short. As in, it might earn me a possible future spot on "Don't Show-cha Your Chocha" short. I am not above showing off my legs in my ultra short denim shorts, but I am not thrilled to flash the world my underpants and that's not just because I wear a lot of underpants with cartoon characters on them.

Secondly, the netting coat was a safety hazard. It doesn't detach from the dress, which is frustrating when it gets warm. Also there are approximately five thousand belts (read: only three) and the belts are about five feet long. Tying the dress shut looks strange and only shortens the belts a tiny bit.

Being that I was raised by accountants and engineers, I like to solve problems. Horrah for ingenuity and having separates!

Dress: Alexander McQueen for Target

Skirt: Charlotte Russe
Gold sandals: Target

Those are crab apples by the way.

The shortness of the dress was easily solved by an addition of my favorite red pencil skirt. The belts I looped around about ten times and they still trail on the ground. Shortly after this photo was taken, their lengths were sacrificed with a pair of scissors.

New Week; New Wallpaper - 7-6-09

The world of fashion blogs and website often neglect the medium they are presented upon: the computer.

Many people spend hours every day staring at glowing rectangles. We occasional spruce up our computers with skins or case mods, but not everyone wants or can do afford those.

So I present a bit of pleasant ascetics in the form of desktop backgrounds and potential boot up screens.

artist unkown
(click image for HUGE: 1600px × 1000px)

Green fields and blue skies are the epitome of summer. A single lone lampost reminds me of "The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe" except it's summer and there are no shirtless goat men as far as we can see.

Made it out alive

Several months of radio silence. A lot can happen then.

In the past six months I have:

• Changed school and career plans
  
• Ended one serious relationship
• Worked through a bout of depression
  
• Worked at school
• Graduated with a bachelor's degree
• Got a new computer
• Played a lot of Bioshock and Audiosurfer
  
• Moved back home
• Ate a bagel and lox at the Chicago Pride Parade
  
• Been chillaxin' and being unemployed

Now that my life has been reassembled in order, I can resume writing. Hopefully I can get one or two chuckles from someone on their lunch break.