17 July 2009

Wolf packs - Shirts, that is. Wolf pack shirts.

It took one unit of Planck time after yesterday's post for someone to inform me of the existence of the picture on the left. (The Easiest Way to Get Laid? Wolf Shirts.) I was stunned than FIVE men would all wear the same extremely sexy shirt (and similar khaki pants) at the same time. After all, if two girls show up at a party wearing the same dress, the laws of physics cause them both to go home and change or to have a cat fight where they erotically wrestle each other while tearing their clothes. But then I realize that men frequently dress identically. For example: sport team jerseys and formal occasion tuxedos.

I am still shocked at the homogeneity of men's fashion, especially when it comes to wolf shirts. I had fallen victim to it as well. My previous posts used the same wolf shirt. But really, there are a wide variety of wolf shirts to choose from!

What I like about wolf shirts is that they usually have a positive message. Most of the time it's just "Respect wolves!" or "Nature is cool!" or "I wish I was a wolf!" But this shirt is something my elementary school teachers should have shown me in the 90s, back when they worked really hard to teach kids not to be racist. This shirt plays "Ebony and Ivory" in my mind. We should learn from this t-shirt. After all, if black and white (or grey-ish) wolves can get along, why can't we?

You know what is a positive message? Love for your country. This shirt is about patriotism. American patriotism, of course because that's the best kind. This shirt is so patriotic it's probably illegal to ship it out of the USA because only so much American-ness is allowed outside the border. On top of patriotism, it's got THREE wolves. You're buying wolves in bulk and saving money when you buy this shirt.

Unfortunately this shirt just says "Ask me about my anthropomorphic animal art!" and "I am a furry".

While browsing the vast collection of bland wolf shirts, I found out that there are other species that can be airbrushed onto black t-shirts. I found a lion shirt that is identical to a wolf shirt except it's in gold tones.

Tribal Lion and Tribal Wolf
(sadly they are sold separately)

As mentioned before, I recommend that you read all the reviews for these shirts before buying them. Do your research so you know what you're getting into. These shirts contain Powers of The Wolf (or lion or wolfoid) and, as Uncle Ben said, "With great power comes responsibility."

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