07 December 2009

How to keep warm and look good at the same time: Accessories

Winter Accessories

Gloves, hats, socks, etc. All these winter add-ons are cheap and they can change your outfit every day. Plus they can keep your limbs, head, and other non-torso parts warm.

Pops of color

Remember what I said about winter being dreary and gray? Accessories are easy ways to bring color to the crappy world of winter. If you wear bright enough colors, you may be mistakenly invited to a rave and, between the lights and the dancing, you can easily warm up before finishing you trip to the grocery.

Don’t spend much money on gloves

You will always loose them. They fall out of your pocket, get lost on public transit, or some dickhead steals them at the movie theater. You’ll never recreate that patching pair. So go cheap on gloves.

Cover your damn head! (and be ready to battle hat hair)

Your head never feels cold but it gives off a huge amount of body heat. Your body will sacrifice your limbs to keep warm. If you want warmer hands and feet, be sure to keep your head covered.

Fortunately there’s a wide range of hats. A knitted beanie will do fine but a cloche looks feminine and adorable. A trapper hat or Ushanka* will keep both your head, ears, and sideburns safe from the chill. Failing that, throw a large scarf over your head in a pinch and rock it Babushka style.

For those of you who hate what hats do to your hair, bring a brush and a small spray bottle of detangling spray or leave in conditioner in your purse. Or just shave your head.

Cover your damn ears (if you hat doesn’t)!

My father has Dumbo ears. They are large and they stick out. My dad suffered a light case of frostbite as a child, so now his ears are painfully sensitive to sun, wind, and cold. If his ears hurt, then he gets cranky. It is no fun to be around a cranky Dad. Despite this happening every week, my dad refuses to wear earmuffs. “I don’t need them!” he shouts. At best, he pulls his hat down over his ears. No knit hat is really prepared to protect ears like that.

A good pair of earmuffs will keep you from getting mean with your children. Don’t get the headband kind though. No one looks good in those and they make your hair stick up. A huge pair of fluffy earmuffs will be toasty and will make any girl look adorable.

Panda Earmuffs.... Hello Kitty Earmuffs... Rabbit Fur Eatmuffs

Cover your damn neck!

Scarves are so fashionable that we will wear them in the heat of summer. So put one under your coat, especially if you are wearing anything cut lower than a turtleneck shirt.

The best thing about scarves? They keep your neck free from icy winds and vampires. The second, third, and fourth best things? They are colorful, easy to wear, and cheap.

Cover your damn… I mean, keep your feet warm.

Your feet are pretty far away from your body. Blood has to travel from your toasty torso and meaty thighs but you start to loose warmth when that blood get to your body knees and calves. Face it; your feet are far from a heat source.

To keep your toes warm, layer your legs up. Wear tights, leggings, or long underwear under your pants. More heat will reach your feet. Wear wool socks. If get itchy and the though of wool, wear wool socks over a regular pair of socks.

Get a good pair of boots. You want something insulated, rated for temperature, at least mid-calf height, and good traction. Don’t even think of getting the standard ugly Uggs. There are tons of warm boots that actually have shape.

Speaking of which, waterproof your boots!

I own a pair of suede snow boots. I have learned my lesson that hard way.

Get those hand warmers

Know what’s not awesome? Frostbitten fingers. That’s not funny. If you are going to be spending any length of time in the deep cold, break out the hand warmers. You can put one in each of your boot and keep your toes from freezing for the rest of the day. Put one in your pocket to warm up your hands during a long walk. If it’s really cold, put a hand warmer inside your glove or mittens.

There are two kinds of hand warmers: reusable and single use. Reusable ones are, obviously, reusable. They give off heat for 1-2 hours and are reset by being boiled in water. Single use hand warmers get very hot when exposed to air and last approximately 8 hours.

Umbrellas make me want rain

The best thing about rainy days is that you can bring out the umbrella. There are so many shapes, colors, and patterns that get between you and precipitation, ensuring that you will forever have something awesome to cheer up a gray, damp day.

I am including umbrellas in a list of winter things because I get use out of my umbrella in the winter. With snow on the ground, comes sleet. If it isn't too windy and big, fat, wet clumps of snow are coming down, I take my umbrella out. It means a little less snow to brush off.

Clear umbrellas are the best. They look cool and you're slightly less likely to concuss someone walking near you.

* If you want to wear an Ushanka, do not wear one with a USSR pin on the front. I see a lot of college boys and internet nerds wear their communist hats in the winter and that is no cool, guys. Yes, the hat is so warm that you practically don’t have to wear a coat. Yes, communist imagery is very iconic but it is tacky and insensitive. Just don’t have the hammer and sickle on your forehead.

Don't be this guy.


WendyB said...

I just want to look at more cat pictures.

GLC said...

"moar cat pictures" the internet cried. And so the internet was soon over run with unneutered cat pictures.