Costumes to Avoid: Women edition

Women's costumes unfortunately fall into three categories: literal interpretations of phrases, sexy versions of whatever you can think of, and outfits that may double as something to role play in the bedroom.

Trophy Wife

We'll start off with a literal interpretation of "trophy wife". I bet anyone who wears this costume is 1) not hot enough to be called a trophy wife, and 2) will trip over the label that explains their costume.

Adult Dog costume

It's not the outfit; it's the fact she's doing a sexy pose in a dog costume. I am terribly afraid that this appeals to someone's fetish out there.

Sexy Detective

When I think "sexy costume", Sherlock Holmes is not what I had in mind.

Trinity from the Matrix

This borders on "wearing it to appease my nerdy partner's fetish for The Matrix". But failing anything, you do get a PVC outfit that would be more expensive and just as badly made at Hot Topic.

Women's Robin costume

If you're boyfriend requests that you dress like a flamboyant, underage sidekick in a questionably legal partnership, you might consider that your boyfriend is batting for the wrong team.

Princess Leia Slave costume

Now any man with a willing partner can live out the fantasies he had when he was 12 and saw "Return of the Jedi".

Princess Leia

I could repeat the same joke here but this costume is from "A New Hope" rather than "Return of the Jedi."

Wolverine

The costume itself isn't bad. But it was listed under women's costumes, which makes me think of how a woman might wear this to attract a man. Stranger things have happened at Comic-Con.

Sexy Eskimo

If you want to wear an extremely thin and ineffective park with no pants, be my guess. I'm not sure how often "sexy" and "Eskimo" go together but to each their own.

Wanda Wizard costume

Oh come on. It's a sexy Hermione costume from Harry Potter, in a terrible clash of a sexy schoolgirl and a love for pen and paper RPGs. You are not fooling anyone, Wanda. By the way, "Wanda Wizard" would make a great stripper name.