Do Not Want: Peep Toe Oxfords

Nine West. Picture from Amazon.com

I do not understand peep toe oxfords.

To be fair, I didn't really like peep toe shoes when they came back in style a few years ago. As a cold limbed person, I thought, "Not only are your toes going to be freezing but a lot of people nasty looking toes." Eventually I realized cold feet don't bother most people, peep toe shoes are actually cute, and I'm just gonna have to deal with people with waaaaay too long of toes, even if their toes are the same length as a normal person's fingers. It's freaky but I can deal with that.

Then oxfords came along. "Aww!" I said in the store, a little too loudly. "Saddle shoes but for sexy grown ups!"

But it seems weird that these two shoe genres have met. Oxfords are very strict looking, like something a stern but unnervingly attractive school teacher would wear in an imaginary pep school. Peep toe shoes are playful and summery, flashing ankle and toe clevage to the delight of foot fetishists across the world. It's two different shoes philosophies that are contradictory and may actually cause a philosophical rip in space and time.

So I just don't get why you get a pair of oxfords shoes and then cut a bunch of holes in it.